1. Things that go *CRUNCH*
There's Rose on a floating door (which everyone knows could fit two people), holding on to Jack, and she says "I'll never let go”, the camera zooms in on Leo's beautiful face and *crunch crunch crunch*, the guy behind you is munching away his @#$*ing lays. The next thing you know the old lady drops the necklace, Celine Dion is singing and you don’t remember watching anything towards the end because you were too distracted!
2. Foods that smell, “Ye garlic kaun kha raha hai”?
When you went in to watch American Pie, you didn’t ask for or pay for a 4D movie. So it was pretty uncalled for when the diarrhoea scene came up and all of a sudden there’s an Indian masala smell spreading around you with a strong punch of garlic. WHY? The aunty beside you got bored with the tauba tauba-ness of the movie and decided to open her tiffin box of parantha with achaar. It’s not fun to have any smell accompany gross movie scenes. It can ruin lives, do you hear me?
3. Anything messy. Oils. Syrup. Cream.
It’s that scene in The Ring and the freaky scary woman is crawling out of the tv and you’re scared because the movie is also on a screen and you hold on to the hand rest to calm your nerves and EEEK! There’s spicy oil on your hand. You smell it (because you’re gross), it smells like pickle. Aunty ji’s husband couldn’t manage the achaar and the oils ended on the handle. The good thing is you were so distracted by the grossness of the situation that you forgot to be scared of the Ring lady.
4. Anything With A Plastic Wrapper
You’re watching The Godfather. You’ve been waiting for this moment. He’s about to say it, you know it. Don Corleone has his hand on Jhonny’s shoulder and says “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse” and right at the beginning of the sentence you hear someone trying to open the wrapper. You try to concentrate, but can’t so you finally look at the source. IT’S AUNTY JI’s SON trying to eat a snickers bar!! Aunty ji, either don’t come to a watch movie that doesn’t interest you or leave your food and kid at home.
ALSO, Plastic has been banned. Stop promoting it. People are trying to have a better life here.
Hope you guys realise the repercussions of the new food rule in theatres. Let’s hope it doesn’t get this bad. May the odds be ever in our favour.
Picture credits: 1.www.videoblocks.com 2.www.loralujames.com 3. ThoughtsCo. 4.shirleyannesherris.wordpress.com
WRITTEN BY - Shubhroja Sen firstname.lastname@example.org