It may sound a bit dirty, but drool play is a real Kink! If you are turned on by drooling on someone or have someone spit on you, you are not alone. It has become a very common kink across the world. There are different kinds of acts involved such as spitting directly in someone's mouth, slowly letting your saliva drip on someone from the tip of your tongue and even spitting on someone's feet! I mean if we're using our teeth to playfully nibble on our partner's skin, why not experiment with our saliva?
But what is it about letting your saliva drip on to your partner's body? A few people shared with Bingedaily their rather interesting and insightful answers as to why people like to spit on their partner or like getting spat on!
It’s all about dominance and submission
"Drool play is like an authority exchange. Plus it's really intimate. Like making out with someone is fun but when there is a little bit of tongue and drooling involved, it really turns me on." Preeti Sharma, a 28-year-old graphic designer from Mumbai, told Bingedaily. It's quite acceptable for us to equate rough sex to how a dog would go at it and call it 'doggy-style' so drooling just seems like a playful add-on to that kink.
In fact, she perfectly summarized most of the answers we received. Most people who are into drool play say that it's all about dominance whilst others just liked the feeling of something slimy running on their bare skin! If you think about it in broader terms, it can be looked as a form of penetration as a part of you goes inside the other person. There are definitely some elements of eroticism and intimacy in that act.
Spitting recently gained cultural capital in global pop culture. With it’s growing visibility on porn websites, people have started replicating this in their sex lives. In fact, it became a whole meme when a Buzzfeed author wrote a tribute article on Trevante Rhodes with the tag line- 'Trevante Rhodes. Spit in my mouth.' This then transformed into the 'spit in my mouth meme' after people started thirst-tweeting it to their celebrity crushes. It's kinda like saying, 'you're so hot, I'd let you go as far as to spit on me.'
How you discuss this kink with your partner matters
The only cautionary advice that we'd give before trying this kink is to ask for consent. A first-person piece by Amanda Fortini, published in Elle, described how her partner spat on her during sex, without any warning. This could've gone two ways. She could have lashed out on him in anger or gone along with it. Luckily, she realised that she liked it. But what if she didn't? While it's healthy to experiment with kinks, performing them on your partner out of the blue can be overwhelming for them. So, letting your partner know your desires is key to have a healthy and equal sex life.
How to discuss your kink with your partner also matters. Holly Richmond, a certified sex therapist explains the process in an interview with the Allure. "Create a safe space in which you are not in overwhelmed work mode, face each other, and have eye contact," she says. She further adds, that before you talk to your partner, you must self-reflect and make sure you are clear about what you want.
It probably not a good idea to blurt it out during dinner or when your partner is stressing to finish a work deadline. She also recommends expressing your feelings to them clearly and respectfully. "Let them know that this might be hard for you or you've been waiting for the right moment," Richmond suggests.
Don’t let your friends kink shame you
It's also possible that your partner or friends may kink shame you for enjoying drool play. Sex is anyway a taboo and having unusual kinks can be hard to comprehend for certain people. But it's important to not suppress them out of peer pressure, as they're a part of your sexuality.
Prachi Desia, a 29-year-old teacher told Bingedaily, "I love it when a guy spits on me. But when I tell my girlfriends about it they get weirded out. The irony is that they are okay with swallowing sperm. I don't know why spit is so bad?"
Indian men are not accustomed to using a moisturizer for masturbating. Most of them either dry dock it or use saliva as a lubricant. "I live with my parents. It's difficult explaining to them why I am carrying a bottle of vaseline in the washroom, so I use my spit instead. It actually does a better job than vaseline and doesn't make things messy." a reader shared with us.
Some people shared their experiences wherein they started developing an affinity towards it. " I used to hook up with a girl who loved being dominated. She used to beg me to choke her and spit on her. I felt a bit weird at first but then I started liking it." It's great when one is open and accepting to new kinks that their partner wants them to try, and who knows it might lead them to discover a new aspect of their sexuality. Or they may discover what they don't like which is an equally valuable experience.
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Some tips for experimenting with drool play
In an interview with Mel Magazine, Hudsy Hawn, a kink coach (yes, they exist), shares a few valuable tips for making sure your spit kink doesn't go south or turn unpleasant. If you do end up experimenting with saliva, make sure that you and your partner are in good health. It's not a good idea to exchange saliva if you have a cold or any other infectious disease. He mentions it's quite easy for diseases to transfer through bodily fluids especially in the current day and age of Coronavirus. So you might have to wait a long time before you let someone spit on you, without it inducing a full-blown panic attack.
Apart from that, if you're a smoker, a regular alcohol consumer, a sucker for spicy foods or onions, make sure that your oral health is up to the mark. Bad breath can be a big turn off. A quick refreshing brush could cleanse your mouth for the act and you'd be doing your partner and yourself, both, a huge favour. He recommends avoiding mints, and making sure that you are hydrated well as that helps in saliva production. You can't dry-mouth your way around this.
In conclusion, don't think that you are a freak or a nympho if you are into drool play. A lot of people do it! The mainstream tradition of using saliva as solely a lubricant is dead and drool play has entered the game.
Illustration by: Matthias Seifarth