With movies like 50 shades of grey or 365 days heavily influencing our sex lives, it seems like everyone these days has a kink. Whether it is hair pulling, choking or any sort of fetish, kinky sex always adds a fun new dimension to ‘vanilla sex’. Similarly, some people are really into drool play.
If the thought of someone drooling or spitting on you ( or you do it to someone) turns you on, then you most likely have a drool kink. In fact, this is a much more common kink than you can imagine. Using your own spit on your partner while having sex, as lubrication, may seem natural to some and if you're into it, it could lead to a steamy sesh in the bedroom.
While the act of drooling on your partner’s body or into their mouth may seem enticing, there is a lot to know about spitting during sex. From the psychology behind why you may be into it to whether it is actually hygienic to indulge in it, this is everything you need to know about spitting and sex-
Do people really spit during sex?
If you’ve ever paid close attention to the ‘blowjob’ category on a porn website, you may often find videos where the person giving the blowjob drools and heavily spits on the other person while going down on them. The act of using spit as lube is not common and comes naturally to many. In fact, the term ‘spit in my mouth’ when typed on XVideos, brings about 30,000 videos which proves to show that not only are people really into using spit while having sex but people are really into watching it happen too!
Spitting during sex has become quite normalized and it has even made it into the meme world. Just like referring to any really attractive older person became synonymous with calling them ‘daddy’, using the term ‘spit on me’ became the new slang for ‘do me’.
Spitting as a part of steamy foreplay was even brought into the limelight when a particular scene in the movie Disobedience caught everyone’s attention. The scene where Rachel Weisz is seen dripping her spit into a very eager Rachel McAdam’s mouth seemed to turn a lot of people on and it even trended on Twitter for a long time.
So while spitting during sex has been around for quite some time and a lot more people than any of us could've imagined seem to be into it, the looming question still lingers- why do people really even do it?
Why do some people like to spit on their partner during sex?
Ever since we were kids, we were often taught that spitting is a bad habit and we shouldn't practice it, however, spitting during sex is fairly common. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of the blog Sex and Psychology, conducted a study revolving around sexual fantasies. For his book Tell Me What You Want, he conducted a survey of 4,175 Americans and asked them about their sexual fantasies. Out of those participants, around 43% men and 35% women, admitted to having fantasied about spitting during sex at some point in their life.
According to Lehmiller this could be because people are turned on by how it is “used in dominance-submission play, with spit being a way to express dominance over another person.” This theory makes a lot of sense as giving the person the power and permission to spit on you automatically makes them dominant over you and most submissive’s like the act of being spit on as a way of being ‘marked’ by their dom. Even various Reddit threads agree with this and go on about how it is in fact a very common trend seen in Dom-sub relationships. It is so common that it even has a name- doing so is called ‘spitting domination’ and the subs who are being spat on are called ‘spit slaves’.
Similarly, spitting is also seen in a lot of BDSM relationships. The social content of spitting has always been equated to humiliation, degradation or blatant disrespect and this is exactly how it is seen in a BDSM relationship too. ‘Spit in my mouth’ porn is fairly common in femdom sexual relationships or even as part of a humiliation kink.
Kink coach and pro-domme, Hudsy Hawn, tell Mel Magazine that spitting in each others mouth has been around, especially in BDSM for quite some time. According to Hawn, this trend is seen because “it’s such a clear symbol of anger or disdain, two emotions that dominants often perform in scenes where consensual degradation, objectification or embarrassment are part of the power exchange with their submissive”.
Another reason why someone could find spitting during sex attractive is that it could also be seen as another form of penetration. The act of person A’s spit going into person B’s mouth or any other part increases the intimacy and excitement between them.
While we may now understand why drool play is a real turn on for some and you may even be intrigued enough to try it, the act of such exchange of spit could be worrisome for some. In the time of coronavirus where doctors have even advised people on wearing masks during sex, one cannot help but wonder, how safe is it really to use spit during sex?
How safe is it to use saliva as lube?
Any person who has had sex has faced the situation where sometimes for some reason, things are a bit dry down there. If you don’t have any lube on hand, using your spit on yourself or your partner may seem like the next logical alternative. However, doctors usually advice against it for these reasons-
STIs have a possibility of spreading through saliva
The possibility of oral cancer being spread through oral sex is real and this is why healthcare workers advise people to even have protected oral sex! This is possible because “Any STI in the throat or mouth can be transmitted to the genitals through saliva,” Dr Felice Gersh explains to Health. For instance, if your partner has an active herpes lesion then using their spit as lube on you could very well result with you having genital herpes.
In fact, this is one of the most common ways genital herpes transmits from one sexual partner to another as most of the time, it is asymptomatic. Even if you or your partner do not have any visible cold sores on the mouth, the virus is still extremely transmissible. Herpes isn't the only STI that you should be worried about, “Gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, syphilis, and trichomoniasis can also all be transmitted to the genitals through saliva,” adds Dr Gersh. Although HIV transmission via spitting could be unlikely, it is not entirely impossible.
You could end up with a vaginal infection
We are all aware that bacteria are present everywhere in our body. However, the bacteria that is present in our mouth and saliva is very different from the one that is present in our vagina. In addition to the bacteria, our saliva also contains certain digestive enzymes that aid in the breaking down of food. When these digestive enzymes are introduced to the bacteria present in the vagina, the severe imbalance could occur. You could upset your vaginal microbiome which would, in turn, leave you susceptible to developing a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis.
According to Dr Gersh, “Using saliva as lube provides a perfect storm to alter the vaginal ecosystem enough to trigger one of these infections,".
Bottom line, saliva is not even as good as lube!
While people who are heavy into drool play may disagree, spit technically has no qualities that would make it a good lubricant. Like Dr Gersh says, "It doesn’t have the slippery consistency, it evaporates and dries more quickly, and further, it’s irritating.”
Lubricants were made to develop in such a way that they mimic the texture, consistency and feel of the very lubrication that your own body produces. They are meant to make the body feel ‘glidey and smooth’ to prevent any sort of friction while performing sexual activity. Any sort of friction, even if it is minute, could cause serious pain to the vagina as well as an anus. Apart from being extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant, lack of good frictionless lube will result in tears and nicks in these regions and that is something we absolutely do not want.
While drool play definitely has it’s downsides, it need not be completely avoided. If you or your partner are really eager to try this out in the bedroom, it should be an act that is carefully discussed consensually with your partner while practising safe sex. A way that you could responsibly indulge in this by making sure both you and your partner are well hydrated and in good health with no open cuts or cold sores.
So, now that you’re sufficiently aware of everything that you need to know about spitting and sex, go ahead and explore the world of drool play with your partner (if that’s your thing)!