Let's get one thing out of the way ladies - sex is not a men exclusive event. Faking an orgasm is not your responsibility, and it's pretty unnecessary, really.
Women fake orgasms almost every time they have a sexual encounter. A fake orgasm accounts for any person that pretends to have an orgasm without actually experiencing one. It usually involves simulating behaviors associated with an orgasm, such as body movements, sounds, which are followed by an apparent release.
We might as well lay back quietly, and stare at the ceiling planning our entire week out instead of putting in the extra effort into making awfully unreal "oohs" and "aahs." But we still voice all those porn-like moans and whimpers.
While the world tells women that sex is purely for all the men out there, it is only so because women haven't been told how to enjoy it. And till the conversation doesn't shift from what men want to what women want, the female orgasm is going to stay a fake fest.
So Then, Why Fake It?
Like every other gender role, women take up the responsibility to make a man feel masculine and macho. Pretending like the two minutes of average back and forth has us shaken to our core, makes your sexual partner feel like Iron Man.
But all of this at what cost?
The lack of sexual satisfaction? The tiring effort of riling up your partner to no success?
While the world focuses on the male orgasm, making it seem as though women having an orgasm is just a by-product or "cherry on the top", women are tired of pleasing themselves over and over again.
We feel the need to fake an orgasm when we don't have one because we believe it's supposed to happen. And if it doesn't, it's our fault.
Now, if the guys knew their way around a vagina, maybe things would change. But for most, that doesn't stand true. And yet, men love to gloat about their sexual skills and charisma. Pff.
Catering to the male ego in bed is a dicey affair. If you do stay silent and stay true to your wants and needs, the fear of upsetting your partner is at an all-time high. If you ask your partner for what you want, it may turn them off.
Faking an orgasm is like giving your cat a treat every time she brings you a dead rat. The cat is going to love you and enjoy the treat, but all you're left with is dead rats.
But, faking an orgasm isn't all about the men.
Faking An Orgasm Isn't Just About Keeping Your Partner Happy
I know, it sounds cuckoo, but hear us out. While it's true that women do fake orgasms to keep their partner happy, it is also true that it helps women in some ways too.
A 2014 review published in the journal Clinical Anatomy showed that vaginal orgasms don't exist, it's the clitoris that does all the work. How can we achieve something that doesn't exist?
Though penetration sure does get us close, it's the stimulation of the clitoris that really holds all the power. So, even if the sex is great, it's less likely to make you orgasm. But, due to our conditioning, we expect to climax during sex, which is why we fake it. Because it's probably not going to happen.
Here's another shocker - women fake it to keep their man faithful. That's right. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior showed that women who thought their partner might stray were more likely to be faking it. These women also engaged in other "mate-retention" behaviors, like dressing to please or keeping tabs on their partners when they're apart.
Some women add the extra effort to moan and scream because it turns them on! For women, sex is a mental stimulation as well. We get turned on because we hear ourselves sounding turned on, which leads us to a real orgasm.
What We Think
Faking an orgasm isn't always about feeding the male ego, it's also about enjoying sex and making it a great experience for yourself.
And though it remains true that most women do fake it for the sake of their partner, we suggest that we keep that notion aside and ask the men in our lives for what we want and like.
If the conversation goes downhill, was he really worth your time?