Let's be real - there's no Indian family gathering without servings of racism, sexism and more problematic trash talk. Indian parents and families just love talking about things they should probably shut up about, and honestly sometimes it's so off the charts it drives you crazy.
"Arre beta, yeh sab jo BJP kar rahi hai na - woh humare liye hi hai, woh logon ka yahi hone wala tha." ("Listen, kid, the stuff that BJP is doing is for our betterment, these people had it coming anyway.") Like okay, thanks aunty for literally believing in mass genocide and segregation as legit solutions to a problem that has been partially made up.
The thing is, you can never actually say that unless you want your mom to hear an earful about your badtameezi - and nobody wants that so we just listen. But sometimes, just some awful times - someone says something so out of line you're forced to say "aunty chup karo yaar."
And there's no way to get out of the hours of lectures that follow. Even then, there are some things that you can't just brush past - so here are some things you can do to shut down prejudiced talk tameez se.
- Remind Yourself That It's Their Problem, Not Yours: Now I know that's not easy to do, but it's important to remember. You are not your parents, so just know that their opinions don't reflect yours. And even when it feels like you have to say something because what they're saying is just plain wrong - remember that you don't share that belief and that you're woke asf.
- Do Not Hear Them Out: I know this isn't exactly what you wanted to hear - but, it just makes everything worse when you argue it out because you get to hear worse things and honestly, it doesn't help. Just agree to disagree and end it there - it's much better for you. You don't get agitated further and you can still disagree.
- Threats (Not really, but like close to it): I'm not asking you to threaten your family and tell them rude things just simple plain non- abusive threats. And by that I mean just tell them you won't show up to family gatherings or talk about these things around them and they may actually listen. (Warning: DO this at your own discretion)
- Find That One Gem Of A Relative And Use Them: Don't actually use them, but use them as a shield. You know that one relative that is actually well-read and has some semblance of mind? Yeah grab them and talk it out or just excuse yourself and go talk to that relative - it may just ease you.
- Just Leave: The most simple way to get out of an unnerving situation? Walk away. Just say bye-bye. Go to another room, or to the washroom or make up some random excuse and walkout - so you're still polite but can leave the situation.
Hopefully, these work out for you because it's so hard to deal with Indian parents and relatives that just won't get off your back with the most illogical arguments and prejudiced opinions.