Sex

I Nearly Never Orgasm During Sex! And I Don't Tell The Guy!

I’ve been lucky enough to have my first time feel pleasurable but during all my sexcapades, I never orgasmed during sex.

A few days ago, I came across this meme that said - “If procreation depended on women’s orgasms, there would be like 12 people on the planet”, I smirked and sent it to all my friends, friends that would relate. I’m a novice at sex, it’s not even been a year since I experienced that ‘haseen dard’, but jokes aside, what I’m trying to say is that I still don’t know how to take the lead while I’m having sex. I’ve been lucky enough to have my first time feel pleasurable but during all my sexcapades, I never orgasmed during sex. Yes, I belong to the majority of heterosexual women that don’t orgasm during penetrative sex but don’t express their sheer disappointment to their partner in the fear of being deemed as selfish. I think, once, my partner had sensed the disappointment on my face and reassured me that, “Hey, remember, sex isn’t about having an orgasm, it’s so much more” he said as he went on to have an orgasm and told me how good that was as I laid there repeating those words in my head until I fell asleep.

Is it normal to never orgasm during sex?

There is extensive research on this subject and empirical research has proved the existence of this phenomenon. For instance, an analysis of 33 studies over the past 8 decades which have been complied in Elisabet Lloyd’s book, The Case of the Female Orgasm. It states that only 25% of women are orgasmic after penetrative sex. This is accounting for the size of the man’s penis and how the woman feels about the man. Various experts offer their two cents to explain why orgasms are often a hit and miss. Often when you pressure yourself to reach an orgasm, the likeliness of it decreases because you’re too preoccupied with stress. It also depends on how comfortable you are with your partner and if you’re feeling self-conscious.

“Tell me how to make you cum?”

Now, let’s focus on the technicalities. What do you say when your partner asks you, “Tell me how to make you cum”? While masturbating you might have noticed, that stimulating your clitoris led you to orgasm more smoothly than vaginal stimulation. Researchers at Indiana University and Chapman University in Southern California have done the research to support that claim. So, I asked him to stimulate my clitoris with his hands or by a short trip down. But it’s not that simple, the clitoris is highly sensitive and one needs to be guided around it and even with oral sex, it can take women some time to reach an orgasm. And this is extra hard to do when you’re ‘too nice’ or ‘too polite’ to ask for your partner to go a little longer.

Indiana University and Chapman University in Southern California also did a study on the same. But now with sexual preferences as one of the variables. It found that lesbian women had 20% higher rates of orgasms since they were more likely to receive clitoral touch. They were also more likely to spend more time kissing and in mutual massaging of the body. Additionally, they were more willing to communicate their needs and wants to their partners.
 

I also interviewed 10 of my heterosexual female friends to know their experiences. I was glad to know that most of them do not see orgasms as the end goal. Hence, rarely feel disappointed by its absence. However, some of them accept this reality because they don’t want to be asking for too much.

A 21-year-old when asked if she feels dissatisfied if she doesn’t reach an orgasm - “It takes a while for women to be completely wet in the first place or wet enough so that it doesn't hurt. Also, it generally takes both stimulation and penetration for women to climax or it takes a lot of time and sometimes I feel like it’s a lot of effort. So even though my partner tries to make me cum I'm like it's taking too long. And sometimes I feel dissatisfied if I felt like I was near but he was too tired or he couldn't like hold it in or whatever.”

“What does sex mean to you?”, I asked next, they answered saying that it was a mix of emotional connection and pleasure. This indicated that showing affection during sex can be a crucial act in making the atmosphere more orgasm inducive. A majority of them also mentioned that they did communicate their desires to their partners but some didn’t out of insecurities. For instance, body insecurities that make it harder to let your partner go down on you.

It is not selfish to ask your partner to pleasure you in the way you want, it’s mature and creates less resentment. And sometimes, you need to take the wheel and tell them how it’s done.

Sex

I Nearly Never Orgasm During Sex! And I Don't Tell The Guy!

I’ve been lucky enough to have my first time feel pleasurable but during all my sexcapades, I never orgasmed during sex.

A few days ago, I came across this meme that said - “If procreation depended on women’s orgasms, there would be like 12 people on the planet”, I smirked and sent it to all my friends, friends that would relate. I’m a novice at sex, it’s not even been a year since I experienced that ‘haseen dard’, but jokes aside, what I’m trying to say is that I still don’t know how to take the lead while I’m having sex. I’ve been lucky enough to have my first time feel pleasurable but during all my sexcapades, I never orgasmed during sex. Yes, I belong to the majority of heterosexual women that don’t orgasm during penetrative sex but don’t express their sheer disappointment to their partner in the fear of being deemed as selfish. I think, once, my partner had sensed the disappointment on my face and reassured me that, “Hey, remember, sex isn’t about having an orgasm, it’s so much more” he said as he went on to have an orgasm and told me how good that was as I laid there repeating those words in my head until I fell asleep.

Is it normal to never orgasm during sex?

There is extensive research on this subject and empirical research has proved the existence of this phenomenon. For instance, an analysis of 33 studies over the past 8 decades which have been complied in Elisabet Lloyd’s book, The Case of the Female Orgasm. It states that only 25% of women are orgasmic after penetrative sex. This is accounting for the size of the man’s penis and how the woman feels about the man. Various experts offer their two cents to explain why orgasms are often a hit and miss. Often when you pressure yourself to reach an orgasm, the likeliness of it decreases because you’re too preoccupied with stress. It also depends on how comfortable you are with your partner and if you’re feeling self-conscious.

“Tell me how to make you cum?”

Now, let’s focus on the technicalities. What do you say when your partner asks you, “Tell me how to make you cum”? While masturbating you might have noticed, that stimulating your clitoris led you to orgasm more smoothly than vaginal stimulation. Researchers at Indiana University and Chapman University in Southern California have done the research to support that claim. So, I asked him to stimulate my clitoris with his hands or by a short trip down. But it’s not that simple, the clitoris is highly sensitive and one needs to be guided around it and even with oral sex, it can take women some time to reach an orgasm. And this is extra hard to do when you’re ‘too nice’ or ‘too polite’ to ask for your partner to go a little longer.

Indiana University and Chapman University in Southern California also did a study on the same. But now with sexual preferences as one of the variables. It found that lesbian women had 20% higher rates of orgasms since they were more likely to receive clitoral touch. They were also more likely to spend more time kissing and in mutual massaging of the body. Additionally, they were more willing to communicate their needs and wants to their partners.
 

I also interviewed 10 of my heterosexual female friends to know their experiences. I was glad to know that most of them do not see orgasms as the end goal. Hence, rarely feel disappointed by its absence. However, some of them accept this reality because they don’t want to be asking for too much.

A 21-year-old when asked if she feels dissatisfied if she doesn’t reach an orgasm - “It takes a while for women to be completely wet in the first place or wet enough so that it doesn't hurt. Also, it generally takes both stimulation and penetration for women to climax or it takes a lot of time and sometimes I feel like it’s a lot of effort. So even though my partner tries to make me cum I'm like it's taking too long. And sometimes I feel dissatisfied if I felt like I was near but he was too tired or he couldn't like hold it in or whatever.”

“What does sex mean to you?”, I asked next, they answered saying that it was a mix of emotional connection and pleasure. This indicated that showing affection during sex can be a crucial act in making the atmosphere more orgasm inducive. A majority of them also mentioned that they did communicate their desires to their partners but some didn’t out of insecurities. For instance, body insecurities that make it harder to let your partner go down on you.

It is not selfish to ask your partner to pleasure you in the way you want, it’s mature and creates less resentment. And sometimes, you need to take the wheel and tell them how it’s done.

Sex

I Nearly Never Orgasm During Sex! And I Don't Tell The Guy!

I’ve been lucky enough to have my first time feel pleasurable but during all my sexcapades, I never orgasmed during sex.

A few days ago, I came across this meme that said - “If procreation depended on women’s orgasms, there would be like 12 people on the planet”, I smirked and sent it to all my friends, friends that would relate. I’m a novice at sex, it’s not even been a year since I experienced that ‘haseen dard’, but jokes aside, what I’m trying to say is that I still don’t know how to take the lead while I’m having sex. I’ve been lucky enough to have my first time feel pleasurable but during all my sexcapades, I never orgasmed during sex. Yes, I belong to the majority of heterosexual women that don’t orgasm during penetrative sex but don’t express their sheer disappointment to their partner in the fear of being deemed as selfish. I think, once, my partner had sensed the disappointment on my face and reassured me that, “Hey, remember, sex isn’t about having an orgasm, it’s so much more” he said as he went on to have an orgasm and told me how good that was as I laid there repeating those words in my head until I fell asleep.

Is it normal to never orgasm during sex?

There is extensive research on this subject and empirical research has proved the existence of this phenomenon. For instance, an analysis of 33 studies over the past 8 decades which have been complied in Elisabet Lloyd’s book, The Case of the Female Orgasm. It states that only 25% of women are orgasmic after penetrative sex. This is accounting for the size of the man’s penis and how the woman feels about the man. Various experts offer their two cents to explain why orgasms are often a hit and miss. Often when you pressure yourself to reach an orgasm, the likeliness of it decreases because you’re too preoccupied with stress. It also depends on how comfortable you are with your partner and if you’re feeling self-conscious.

“Tell me how to make you cum?”

Now, let’s focus on the technicalities. What do you say when your partner asks you, “Tell me how to make you cum”? While masturbating you might have noticed, that stimulating your clitoris led you to orgasm more smoothly than vaginal stimulation. Researchers at Indiana University and Chapman University in Southern California have done the research to support that claim. So, I asked him to stimulate my clitoris with his hands or by a short trip down. But it’s not that simple, the clitoris is highly sensitive and one needs to be guided around it and even with oral sex, it can take women some time to reach an orgasm. And this is extra hard to do when you’re ‘too nice’ or ‘too polite’ to ask for your partner to go a little longer.

Indiana University and Chapman University in Southern California also did a study on the same. But now with sexual preferences as one of the variables. It found that lesbian women had 20% higher rates of orgasms since they were more likely to receive clitoral touch. They were also more likely to spend more time kissing and in mutual massaging of the body. Additionally, they were more willing to communicate their needs and wants to their partners.
 

I also interviewed 10 of my heterosexual female friends to know their experiences. I was glad to know that most of them do not see orgasms as the end goal. Hence, rarely feel disappointed by its absence. However, some of them accept this reality because they don’t want to be asking for too much.

A 21-year-old when asked if she feels dissatisfied if she doesn’t reach an orgasm - “It takes a while for women to be completely wet in the first place or wet enough so that it doesn't hurt. Also, it generally takes both stimulation and penetration for women to climax or it takes a lot of time and sometimes I feel like it’s a lot of effort. So even though my partner tries to make me cum I'm like it's taking too long. And sometimes I feel dissatisfied if I felt like I was near but he was too tired or he couldn't like hold it in or whatever.”

“What does sex mean to you?”, I asked next, they answered saying that it was a mix of emotional connection and pleasure. This indicated that showing affection during sex can be a crucial act in making the atmosphere more orgasm inducive. A majority of them also mentioned that they did communicate their desires to their partners but some didn’t out of insecurities. For instance, body insecurities that make it harder to let your partner go down on you.

It is not selfish to ask your partner to pleasure you in the way you want, it’s mature and creates less resentment. And sometimes, you need to take the wheel and tell them how it’s done.

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Eats

Fire Paan in Mumbai!

Paan, an Indian after-dinner treat that consists of a betel leaf filled with chopped betel nut and slaked lime.