If you’ve spent nights backspacing texts, or mornings wondering if you’re the only weird soul looking for means and ways to chat with your ex, you aren’t alone. Whether it’s hitting them up with a ‘whatsup!’ or having small talk come to your aid, it’s normal and surprisingly a trend these days. Everyone has found comfort in a seemingly wide array of activities to keep their minds occupied. And many millennials just like you, are ending up in chat boxes of the ex. The ones whom you swore never to text again, over way too many glasses of vodka.
The lockdown has been the main cause in the emergence of several bizarre trends. Take for example the nude selfie trend. While this may not be very vocally spoken of in our idealistically sanskari society, it is a growing craze overseas! To give you some context, the name explains it all. You pose or pout or do whatever it is you do best, but the catch is, you do it in nudity! The New York Times says the nude selfie has become a symbol of resilience. Moreover, it has emerged as a refusal to let social distancing render us sexless. You may have gotten the gist, millennials are trying to cope with the lockdown and the distance, by finding innovative trends to hold onto. And this leads us to the crux of the gamut of manias that are doing the rounds.
The lockdown is to blame
The lockdown eventually has led to boredom. As productive as you have strived to be and as optimistic, there comes an eventual point where ennui hits. From partying and being free spirits, to having to stay confined in the four walls of the house, the transition has been tough. As The Atlantic says, boredom makes people do stupid things! They itch to do something, just anything apart from what they are doing at the moment. And it comes as no surprise that millennials like you have resorted to texting your exes.
If you’re a victim of this, you now know where this stems from. Texting your ex, isn’t as impulsive as you think it is. In this dystopian reality we’re living in, there’s irrationality that comes into play. As quoted by Stylist, “While we’re amidst a life-threatening pandemic, our emotions are unstable, in response to the unstable environment. As a consequence, our perspectives change, and we begin to focus on what's important, invariably that being the relationships around us, past and present.” highlighted Charlotte Armitage, a psychologist at YAFTA Consultancy.
Texting your ex? Why?
Harshita Sabnis, experienced in this matter says “In my case, most exes have either been horny or some have been away from their current partners, hence this. I have also texted some people from the past and that is solely because I have the time to have a basic conversation, what I don’t have however, is the mind space. Small talking has gotten to me!”
If you are hopeful of seeing this as getting back with your ex, this may not be what you’re thinking. Millennials who were once right in the midst of the hustle of life, have been forced to slow down and have time for engaging in ‘basic convos’, saying it bluntly.
Rekindling old relationships
However, onto the subject of what actually compels one to text the ex, the millennials feel it's the need for self-validation. “We run from one relationship to the next, not allowing ourselves to completely immerse in the present. When a current relationship fails, we need some form of self validation, and sometimes seek this in an ex. As to why do we do this increasingly during the lockdown, well, empty days and pangs of loneliness, can result in you looking for something familiar in the unfamiliar that clouds your days now.” says Harshita, who’s been doing plenty of texting these days.
Ask her if going down that road is a good option? “It’s a big NO! It's all so structured and the conversations are forced in a way, and not organic. There’s zero feelings involved. We’re talking for the sake of it, and though it was working initially, not anymore for sure.”
Apoorva Shetty, another who’s been engaged in this, when asked whether old relationships can be rekindled in this way says, “Maybe the existing relationships have a better chance of being redefined for the better or worse. Relationships from the past though, I don't see those coming back as anything that you'd stick around with, personally.”
What after the lockdown?
While texting the ex seems very okay while you’re holed up in confinement, what when this is over? What next? The millennials say “This is a way to pass your time. It’s definitely not on the cards to meet the ex after the lockdown, no one’s looking forward to it. This is what it is. A pass time!”
Psychologists say it's normal to seek comfort in the things of the past, millennials say it’s just a way to cope with dreary situations, and everyone seems to have an opinion of whether or not texting your ex is okay. But whether it's a perfect solution to deal with the blues, we’ll never know!