Sex isn't exactly one of India's strong suit - both ways. We don't talk about it, we don't think about and we most certainly do not know enough about it. (thanks, Indian education system!)
And all this is coming from the land of Kama Sutra - what a pity. But things haven't always been like this, for the most part. What we have to keep in mind is that sex now and sex in ancient India was treated very differently.
And I'm not just talking about the way we look at it, sure that too, but ancient Indians were horny little dunderheads. I mean of all things holy, orgies originated in India! Yep, you read that right. High and mighty royal Kings and Queens fornicated big time, with their entire court. (A 2500 BC sex fest? I'd love to see what that was like.)
If you don't believe me, that's fair on your behalf, but, I wouldn't cook up pseudo erotica fanfic for people I don't even know. Plus, they did not limit themselves to just orgies - they had so much more going on, it's like every teenager's dream sex life.
When India wasn't the most sexually awkward society - you best believe they were unashamed, wild, and free. I think it's fair to assume that we'd all want that now - but that isn't going to happen. The one thing we can do is relive the past vicariously, so here are some straight-up cuckoo sex adventures from ancient times.
Ghat Kanchuki - A Live Tinder Game
So this was game played in Bajirao's court, which is when they should've taken the rights for the idea of Tinder. In the "game", a huge crowd would gather - usually 8-10 people - of all castes, gender, and religions.
They would come together at night, and there would be a small audience that wasn't playing the game - just watching it. (a little creepy, but you do you.) The people participating would sit around a paper on with a 'chakra' drawn on it. Then they'd strip in front of everyone and put their clothes into a huge pot.
Then every person would pick up one cloth at random to select their sexual partner for the night. Seriously, that sounds like a frat party game.
The game continued until everyone had slept with each other, and while they went at it like wild animals, the audience watched the game and actually cheered and shipped people.
What kind of libido do you need to have to hop onto a person and let a whole crowd watch?
Incestual Sex - The One Where It Gets Kinda Weird
It isn't news that ancient India didn't give two shits about blood relations when it came to sex. I mean cousins got married to each other and had kids - so it was all okay. Remember when Gotra marriages happened? But then people suddenly realized "hey, I have a brother/sister and they have genitalia, they can have sex with me for fun!" and everything kinda became hazy after that.
Kautubik sex as they called it, was basically what people on PornHub have been looking for. So apparently Kautubik sex was mentioned in the appendix of the Mahabharata. And in the tenth mandala of Rig Veda, there is a mention of a sexual conversation between Yam and Yami.
Yami really wants to get some - with her own brother, Yam. (lady, do you have no one else?) When he refuses to do it, fairly so, she convinces him by using a line straight out of an incest porn video - "your sister is unsatisfied even when you're around, what is your use then?" I mean can it get any more crude?
Maharaja Ranjit Singh - The Horniest Royal Ever, Maybe
This wasn't too long ago actually, somewhere around 1839, Maharaja Ranjit Singh gave a whole new meaning to sex. He genuinely just loved sex - what a pure sentiment. And he had so many, SO MANY, concubines (mistresses), he had lost count.
But he must've been great with women because it would be impossible to get laid THAT many times just because he was a King. (I don't think his face helped - but heyyyy, I'm nobody to judge, maybe he was a hot hunk for all the ladies in the 1800s) He was kind of weird though, he was so picky about his women he made them have plastic surgeries occasionally to suit his taste better. (dick move, but ok)
He was stinking rich, and he made good use of that. He had pools where he would call his concubines, and kinda have sex in the pool - in front of everyone. He very clearly had a public sex kink because he also had sex in his court in front of his subordinates and townsfolk. Real raunchy.
‘Maharaja’which is a scandalous book by Diwan Jermani Dass, whose credibility has been repeatedly questioned, narrated a rather grotesque account, which involved sacrifices of bullocks with 150-400 members, including mostly virgin women, with men including the Maharaja pouring alcohol over the women.
They would then suck the liquor off the bodies of these virgins and then have an orgy. I mean, what is happening Ranjit? Chill maybe?
On that note, I think it's safe to say that ancient India was absolutely bonkers and didn't give a damn about anything as long as their night ended in an orgasm. Honestly, we could learn something from them - not incest - but maybe being less covert about sex?