Everyone gets bored in bed sometimes, which is why a lot of us try to experiment and do new things in bed. For some people it's BDSM, and for others its trying different positions, but the latest addition to the experimentation is tantric sex.
Tantric sex is an ancient Hindu practice that has been going for over 5,000 years, and means ‘the weaving and expansion of energy’. It’s a slow form of sex that’s said to increase intimacy and create a mind-body connection that can lead to powerful orgasms. In short, it's simply a spiritual sex experience.
But it doesn't end there, tantric sex not only makes your orgasms more fulfilling but it can actually give you a more wholesome experience of sex. Tantric experts believe that if you extend the time and effort you put into sex, you will reach a higher and more intense form of ecstasy.
What Exactly Entails Tantric Sex?
Tantra is an ancient spiritual practice that involves exploring your personal identity. It’s meant to help a person “experience the truth and reality of oneself and the world.” In simpler terms, tantra is a pleasure-centric practice that encourages self-exploration and mindfulness. It’s similar to meditation and can have benefits both in and out of the bedroom.
If you’re looking for ways to bond with your partner more deeply, tantric sex is for you. Tantra is about getting into positions that require physical closeness and eye contact, so you connect on a more soulful level. Tantric sex also encourages couples to devote a lot of time to get it on.
The idea behind tantric sex in the Hindu spiritual tradition is that when sex is practised with awareness and connection, it is a way to achieve enlightenment. Tantric sex is focused on very slow sex with an emphasis on synchronized breathing, touching, eye contact, and intimacy with your partner. Unlike regular sex, orgasm is not the goal, but rather prolonging it and feeling a deep connection.
So, How Do You Do It?
There’s really no recipe for tantric sex but there are a few guiding principles. One important trick is to take your mind off your orgasm and instead focus on making foreplay enjoyable and rewarding until you’re ready to take it to its natural end.
Here are the basic steps to try if you're just starting out -
1. Breathing: Just like in yoga, focusing on your breathing helps to put you in the moment and make you more mindful, and it also moves energy within your body
2. Slowing down: If you would normally do 30 strokes of something, do only three in the same period of time. Tantra is obviously not for impatient people.
3. Eye gazing: Making eye contact with one another helps connect with the other person's soul and creates a deeper connection, which in turn makes the sex better.
4. Undulating: Moving your body helps move energy around. Moving your pelvis and PC muscle [the pubococcygeus, the muscle you use in kegels] as an energy pump, not just as a physical sex muscle, enhances the experience. Imagine the energy that’s in your genitals moving up your spine into the rest of your body, over the top of your head, and onto your partner’s body.
5. Loosen your body: Tantra is about moving energy through the body, so shaking your legs vigorously to energise and unblock your system before you start is important.
6. Stay off the bed: This will trigger the sleep button in your brain, so you will probably try to end sooner. But if you stay off the bed, the motivation to feel a deeper connection and have intimate sex will be higher.
7. Get comfortable: Try lying down with your partner on the floor and slowly start to touch each other, taking your time to leisurely make your way around their body.
8. Experiment: Try a variety of touches – firm massage, light feathery touches, and gentle stroking. The aim here is to heighten his senses in a slow and intense way so that you’re building him to a peak but not taking him all the way and vice versa. Performed in the right way this can prolong sex and your pleasure for hours.
9. Think about breathing: If you find your mind starts to wander, re-focus on your breathing. Inhale as your partner exhales and vice versa – it can help improve the connection between the two of you and keep your mind on what’s happening.
10. Don’t give up: If you don’t last beyond 10 minutes, try again. Tantric sex takes time to get to grips with because we’re all used to sex in a western way – this means we expect sex to have an obvious start, middle and end.
If you’re looking for something new to do in bed, or you want to become even more intimate with your partner or if you want to try to reconnect with your husband or boyfriend, tantric sex can help you out!